If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
