Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
