My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Boobs speak an international language.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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