i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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