I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
