Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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