"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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