It's Friday. Sex?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
