this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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