I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
