chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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