I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
