I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
