and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize