There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
