You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
