actually, I'm a sock model
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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