And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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