The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
