addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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