I'm jealous of your bromance
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
