You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
