I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
