I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
