HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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