is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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