you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize