You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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