How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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