you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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