my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize