So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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