he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
bring money and cleavage
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
