whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
