I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
