Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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