just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize