I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
