just tell him i said nine months
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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