she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
