just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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