what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
