I'm really into asian looking animals
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We are all done wearing pants today
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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