no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
