she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
