I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
