So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
