I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
