It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cannot find my penis.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
