So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
