Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
