I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
