I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
