Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
