Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize