I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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