If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
