Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
