I cockslap morals
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Are we still banned from the library?
The air was thick with penises
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
