Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
