Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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