Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
