Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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